事实不像男性所认知的那般 It's not like man have been wrong before.
我是说,这么多年来 I mean, for years,
男性认为他们比女性更聪明 men have thought that they were smarter than women.
英国大学里的女性 Women in universities in the U.K.
在几乎所有学科中表现比男性更优秀 do better than men in nearly every area of performance.
根据最新调查报告显示 That's according to new research.
数年来,男性一直认为 For years, men have thought
女性不该工作 that women should not work.
2009年,女性在全体劳动者中 And that was 2009,when women became
占比超过50% more than 50% of the workforce.
数年来 And for years,
男性认为女性无法胜任领导的任务 men have thought that women couldn't lead.
去年,有史以来第一次 And last year,for the first time,
女性担任美国经理的比例达到54% women became 54% of all American managers.
数年来,男性认为 For years, men have thought
女性无力战斗 that women could not fight.
参议院刚刚对一份议案进行表决.这份议案会使得女性 The Senate just voted on a bill that would have women
有资格进入美国军队 be eligible to be drafted into the US military
这在美国历史上尚属首次 for the first time in American history.
金赛（美国印第安纳大学性学教授）提到这数年间 And Kinsey mentioned that for years,
男性认为女性性欲更低 men have thought that women had a lower sex drive.
过去的女性在性方面 Women in the past were sexually
和今天的女性有极大的不同 very different than women of today.
但是现在有了 But now there's a cable channel
专门为女性放黄片的有线频道 that just shows porn for women.
女性的性高潮 The female orgasm can be
比男性的性高潮要强烈十多倍 10 times more powerful than the male orgasm.
女性比男性有更广泛的性兴奋范围 Women have a wider range of arousal than men.
我认为性是女性身份重要的一部分 I think sexuality is more part of a woman's identity.
如果女性觉醒 If women were raised
开始思考她们是性的产物时 to think of themselves as sexual creatures,
你很可能会看到一个大相径庭的世界 you would probably see a very different world.
成长过程中,我从没意识到 Growing up, I never realized
我是个性欲旺盛的人 that I had a high sex drive.
直到我发现我对性 Not until I discovered that sex seemed to feel
有种特殊的感觉 more special to me.
不是因为我约会的男性认为这并不特殊 It's not that the guys I dated didn't think it was special.
而是这东西让我感到充实和深邃 It's just that, for me,it felt richer, deeper.
它让我非常满意 It was more satisfying.
这就像我们做着同一件事 It's like we were doing the same thing,
但我拥有截然不同的体验 but I had a totally different experience.
只有我一个女性有如此感觉吗? Am I the only woman who feels this way?
或者有更多的女性和我一样感同身受? Or are there more women who feel like me?
看情况,如果男性 It depends.If-If-If the man
爱着他的女人 is in love with his woman,
他会感觉到蓬勃的爱意 he will feel love with emotions.
但是如果他,你懂的,只是一夜情 But if he, you know,it's like one-night stand,
他只是,只是,嗯 he just-- he just, uh,
满足他的欲望 fulfills his pleasure.
就这样 That's it.
我想一个女人 And I think for a woman,
总是个情绪动物 there's always such amount of emotions.
我认为作为一个女人,这非常重要 I think for a woman,it's more important.
我想作为一个男人,因为他的...这提升了自我价值 I think for the man, because of his... it bolsters his ego.
是的,作为一个女人,因为我们有更多的性致 Yes, for a woman, because we have more sexual energy.
我认为两者是一样的 I think it's about the same.
哦,这两者有区别,但... there are differences,but...
是的,我对女性性欲更旺盛这点深信不疑 Yes, I definitely think that women have a higher sex drive,
因为,对于我们来说,感官上的愉悦更加强烈,更深 because, for us it's more sensual,and it just feels deeper.
我必须站女性 I have to say women
因为她们渴望爱意, because they crave affection,
至于男性,他们只是... and guys, they just...
对于男性来说,更为重要的事是 For men,it's more important
和不同人进行更多的性交 to have lots of sex with different people.
他们都喜欢这个,但男性想要的更频繁. They both like it, but men want it more often.
对于女性来说,认真对待 For women, it's important to make this
她们性爱中的每一个行为 one act of sex they do
显得更为重要 an important thing.
可能的恋人关系中明显有一个短板 There's apparently a shortage of possible romantic partners.
对于男人荒的抱怨 Complaints of a man drought...
对于爱的追寻迫在眉睫 The search for love is in a state of emergency.
是什么在阻挡她们追寻白马王子? What's keeping them from finding their Prince Charming?
人们不愿承认现实 People don't want to admit what the reality is.
职业黑人女性并没有让情况变好 Professional black women are not making it up.
澳大利亚陷入男人荒的困境 Australia is caught up in a man drought.
难以找到合适的男性伴侣 Finding the right man is proving elusive.
这并不容易,男人荒绝对存在 It's not easy out there.There's definitely a man drought.
我感觉到了,甚至找到一个约会对象都很难 I'm feeling it. It's hard to find a date, even.
听着,如果你是个女人,你八成在想 Look, if you're a woman,and you've been wondering
男人都去哪了 where all the men have gone,
好消息是他们并不在你的脑子里 the good news is that it's not in your head,
但坏消息就是你想得完全正确 but the bad news is that you're actually right.
男性的供应出现了巨大的短缺 There is a massive shortage of men.
百万女性知道这样的感觉 Millions of women know just what it feels like
在男人的简历中浏览 to look around at the men on offer
然后想着,"不了,谢谢“ and think, "No, thanks."
然后,拖延,拖延,拖延,能拖多久拖多久 Okay, delay, delay, delay,as much as you possibly can,
知道你发现你已经遇到过 until you know that you've met someone
能和你欢度余生的男人 that you can be happy with for the rest of your life.
看着浪漫喜剧长大 Growing up with romantic comedies,
你肯定会想生活会过的像一部瑞茜 威瑟斯彭(指甜蜜)电影 you do tend to think that life should be like a Reese Witherspoon movie,
这会使你罔顾现实 that you should be swept off your feet.
一些成功的女性 Some successful women
拥有优秀的男性却不自知 have had good men and didn't know it.
男性和女性经常对性有着不同的看法 Men and women have always had different opinions about sex,
但是根据约会专家的经验,在最近15年间 but according to dating experts, there has never been
从来没有如此巨大的男女关系转变 such a major shift in relationships than in the last 15 years.
今天我和其中一位约会专家见面 Today I am meeting one of those dating experts,
玛西娅 昌 Marcia Chong.
在她书中,她谈到 In her work,she talks about
现代性别角色如何颠覆约会游戏 how modern gender roles have completely changed the dating game,
和多年的经验如何让她 and how years of experience have led her
得出一个有趣的结论 to an interesting conclusion.
她认为性对女性更重要 She believes that sex is more important for women,
今天我想知道其中的原因 and today I want to find out why.
当谈到性和魅力时 When it comes to sex and attraction,
每一个女人都有一个从来不和男性分享的秘密 every woman has a secret that we never share with men,
因为如果我们分享了,事情会变得尴尬起来 because if we did, things might get a little awkward.
你知道的,每个女人有张清单 You see,every woman has a list,
上面写了我们对一个男人所有的期望 a list of all the things we want in a man.
但问题不是清单 Now, the problem is not the list.
问题是清单的大小 The problem is the size of the list
事实是它是如此的详细 and the fact that it is that detailed.
举个例子,他必须要高,要帅 For example,he has to be tall, handsome,
强壮，受过良好教育且充满上进心 strong,educated and ambitious,
有份好工作,有套漂亮的房子,汽车 have a good job,have a nice house, a car,
而且他必须乐于社交,能很好的融入我们的家庭 and he has to be social and fit in with our family.
当然,他必须是个接吻高手 And of course,he has to be a good kisser,
一个好情人,一位孩子们的好父亲 a good lover, and a great father for our children.
但不幸的是 But, unfortunately,
只有少数男性能够达到期望值 only a few men can meet those high expectations,
这就是男性认为女性缺少性致的原因 and that's why many men think that women aren't interested in sex.
但是我们很有性致,这只是 But we are.It's just that
大多数男人达不到清单上的要求 most men don't make the list.
我们称之为80/20法则 And we call this the 80/20 principle.
-80/20法则? -是的 -The 80/20 principle? -Yes.
这是一个市场法则,同样适用于约会 It's a marketing principle that's also used in the dating world,
它表示80%的女性 and it means that 80% of the women
只对20%的女性感兴趣 are only interested in 20% of the men.
举个例子,约会个人简介 For example, dating profiles.
男性中意现场大约半数的女性 While men like roughly half of the women on the site,
然而大多数女性只喜欢20%的男性 most women only like 20% of the men.
这就是女性在婚恋市场如此抢手的原因 And this is why women are so competitive in the dating world,
（抢手程度）远远超过男性 and I think even more than men.
因为大多数女性只对一小部分男性感兴趣. Because most women are interested in a very small group of men.
情况正越变越糟 But it's getting worse.
约女生正变得越来越难 Dating for women is becoming harder and harder.
-什么意思? -这情形尚属历史首次 -What do you mean? -For the first time in history,
女性在几乎各个方面比男性表现更突出 women are out-performing men in nearly every category.
更多女性毕业 More women are graduating,
成为医生,律师,银行家 becoming doctors,lawyers, bankers,
这些转变都在戏剧性地改变约会文化 and all these changes are dramatically transforming the dating culture.
因为如今,女性不再依靠男性 Because these days, women are not dependent on men anymore.
我们有我们自己的事业,房子,社交 We have our own careers, our own houses, social lives,
我们可以自给自足 and we can provide for ourselves.
所以现在女性只注重最好的 So now women only settle with the best.
一个男性必须增加自己的价值 A man has to have added value.
如果一个男性学历或收入不高 And if a man has lower education or earns less,
他对女性吸引力可能就越小 he might be less interesting to women.
所以随着我们地位的提高 So as our status increases,
我们的期望也在变高 so do our expectations,
我们的清单也越变越长 and our lists become longer and longer.
对,这也影响着男性 Yes, that's right.And this also impacts men.
这让男性感到沮丧和困惑 It makes men frustrated and confused,
因为越来越少的女性觉得他们有趣 because less and less women find them interesting.
你看,过去几乎所有人都结婚 You see, in the past,almost everyone got married,
因为婚姻被视为一种必需品 because it was seen as a necessity.
好当家有结婚的好机会 And a good provider had a good chance of getting married.
但是现在,这个保证消失了 But now,that guarantee is gone.
另一件事是现在的女性 And another thing is that women these days
想要一个蓝颜知己倾吐情感 want a soul mate to talk about feelings with a man.
但是与此同时,他必须坚定而富有毅力。 But at the same time,he has to be firm and rugged.
这同样困扰着男性 And this is also confusing men.
但为什么我们期待如此之高? But why are our expectations so high?
我想这和生物学有关系 I think this has to do with biology.
一个男性一天可以产生数以百万计的精子 A man can produce millions of sperm cells every day,
但一个女性一生只能怀孕几次 but a woman can only get pregnant a few times in her life.
所以她想要最好的丈夫 So she wants the best husband,
孩子的父亲和抚养者 father and provider for her child,
否则她可能落得个独自抚养孩子的下场 or else she could end up raising her child alone.
就像手枪和机枪的区别 It's like a handgun versus a machine gun.
如果你只有一把六发子弹的手枪 If you had a handgun with only six bullets,
你难道不会谨慎使用吗? wouldn't you be very selective in how you use it?
是的,我觉得我会非常谨慎 Yeah, I guess I would be very selective.
但我最近读到一篇报道 But I recently read a study
女性和男性一样会欺骗 that showed that women cheat as much as men.
你觉得对吗? Do you think this is true?
是的,大多数人认为男性更能欺骗 Yes. Most people think that men cheat more.
但事实是,这种想法是错的 But in reality,that's not true.
因为那些男人不仅仅欺骗单身女性 Because all these men don't just cheat with single women.
但我认为其中有个大区别 But I think there's one major difference--
女性更能把这个当作秘密保守. women are better at keeping it a secret.
你是说我们更擅长欺骗? Are you saying we're better at cheating?
在我经验中,男性表现更明显 In my experience,men are more obvious
女性更能隐藏 and women are more subtle.
但对于一个女性来讲,了解她们伴侣是否欺骗 But for a woman,it's more important to know
更为重要 if their partner is cheating.
女性对此更为担忧 Woman worry about it more,
这就是为什么很多女性不厌其烦地核查确认 and that's why a lot of women need more validation.
当她问,"你爱我吗?" When she asks,"Do you love me?"
或者”你爱我有多深?“ or "How much do you love me?"
这些不是随机的问题,实际上是由于生物演化 these aren't random questions,they actually go back to evolution.
因为当一个女性怀孕了 Because when a woman becomes pregnant,
她会非常依赖且脆弱 she's very dependent and vulnerable.
所以如果她的伴侣在她怀孕的时候抛下她,她会面临一个大问题 So if her partner leaves her while she's pregnant, she has a big problem.
然而,男性并没有经历过 Men, on the other hand,do not experience
如此脆弱无助的感觉 that level of vulnerability.
所以你认为谁性欲更旺盛? So who do you think has a higher sex drive?
-男性或女性? -我认为女性 -Men or women? -I think women do
因为我们无时无刻不在观察男性 because we check out men all the time.
女性比男性更关心性 So women think about sex more than men,
但是从不同的,更为辩证的角度来看 but in a different way,a more critical way.
因为我们需要确保我们选了个合适的男性 Because we have to make sure we choose the right man,
我们经常比较分析男性 we're constantly comparing and analyzing men.
他吸引人吗,他聪明吗,他有潜力吗? Is he attractive,intelligent,and does he have potential?
我甚至必须承认这一点 I even have to admit that
大多数时间我仍然沉浸于这种研究 I still catch myself doing it all the time,
我婚姻很幸福 and I'm happily married.
两种避孕药疑似和 Two birth-control pills have suspected links
至少23个澳大利亚人的死亡有关系 to the deaths of at least 23 Canadians.
1000多名加拿大女性 More than 1,000 Canadian women
移除,敲碎了胆囊 have had gall bladders removed,strokes,
或者在余生中服用血液稀释剂 or are on blood thinners for the rest of their lives.
她们 她们真的 她们真的在打乱 They are.They really are.They are totally messing up
女性自然的生理周期 women's natural hormone rhythm.
这药药效很强,副作用可能会危及生命 It's a very, very potent drug,and it has life-ending properties to it.
两种药的制造商已经 Makers of the two pills have already paid
在处理诉讼问题上花费了超过百万美元 more than a billion dollars, settling thousands of lawsuits.
避孕可能会导致抑郁症 A possible link between birth control and depression.
那些服用避孕药的人 Those who use birth-control pills were twenty three to two times more likely
服用抗抑郁药物的量 to be prescribed an antidepressant medication
比那些不吃避孕药的 compared to those who didn't used them.
高出23%到200%.一些女性可能会产生自杀的念头 And you have these mood swings.Some women can have suicidal thoughts,
一些女性可能会从快乐的巅峰跌到悲伤的谷底 some women can just go from being extremely happy to extremely sad.
一开始,人们想 And so at first it was assumed that,
好的,没事,你只是往宝宝体内输入了人工激素 okay, well, you're putting synthetic hormones into your body
你的宝宝只是在适应它 and you're body's just trying to get used to it,
所以这些情绪波动很正常 so those mood swings are normal,
继续用药情况就会平稳 and they'll normalize as you continue usage.
但是它的确对大脑某块特定的区域产生影响 But it's actually having an impact on certain regions of your brain.
采取避孕措施可能会影响 Taking birth control may be affecting
女性觉察男性的魅力程度 how women perceive men's level of attractiveness.
当你向雄性 When you expose males
输出过量的雌性激素 to excess estrogen,
这会雌化雄性 that feminizes males.
当你向雌性 When you expose females
输出过量的雌性激素 to excess estrogen,
这会雄化雌性 it masculinizes females.
乳腺癌和心脏病发病风险的增高 The increased risk of breast cancer and heart disease,
还有那些值得注意的事情,但... and those arevery concerning, but...
对于我来说,个人最关心的事情就是 I think for me, the thing that was most personally concerning was,
我失去性欲了 I lost my sex drive.
我从15岁开始吃药 Since I was 15,I've been on the pill.
它总给我安全和被保护的感觉 It always made me feel safe and protected.
但是最近越来越多的人开始抵制药 But recently, more people have started to reject the pill,
这让我扪心自问 and this made me ask myself,
"我做了正确的决定吗?" "Am I still making the right decision?"
为了解答这些问题,我约了 To answer these questions,I've decided to arrange
化工方面的一位专家 a meeting with a specialist in chemistry
询问她 他们在药里加了什么 and ask her what they're putting in our pill.
我听说过许多关于药物的传言 I've heard many stories about the Pill,
但是它真的能抑制性欲吗? but does it really decrease our sex drive?
是的,调查显示许多 Yes.Studies show that a lot
避孕药的确能抑制性欲 of birth-control pills actually lower the sex drive.
事实上,药物是靠欺骗身体 In fact, the pill works by tricking the body
让身体产生怀孕的错觉而生效的 into thinking it's pregnant.
但问题是当身体认为你怀孕时 But the problem is that when the body thinks it's pregnant,
它停止分泌激素睾酮 it stops producing the hormone testosterone.
你是说是激素影响了性欲? You mean the hormone that affects the sex drive?
是的.睾酮让一个女性冒更大的风险, Yes. Testosterone makes a woman take more risks,
狂野不羁,置自身于险地 become wilder, put herself out there.
所以,一个女性拥有的睾酮越少, So, the less testosterone a woman has,
她的性欲越低. the lower her sex drive.
但是有时候药物也能提升性欲. But sometimes the pill also increases the sex drive.
不是所有的避孕药都含有相同的激素. Not all birth control contain the same hormones.
但不幸的是,大多数正在服药的女性 But unfortunately, most women who are on the pill
表示性欲减退 report a decrease in sex drive.
-你自己吃药吗? -不,我不吃 -So do you take the pill? -No, I don't.
药物不仅影响性欲 You see, the pill not only affects the sex drive,
而且影响你大脑的结构 but it also changes the structure of your brain.
它影响你的嗅觉 It impacts our sense of smell.
它甚至对我们发现男性的魅力有 It even impacts especially
格外的影响 how attractive we find men.
举个例子,正在服药的女性一旦停止服药 For example, women who meet their partner while they're on the pill
当她们和伴侣见面的时候,可能会发现他们缺少魅力 mmay find them less attractive once they stop taking the pill.
-这怎么可能? -记住, -How is that possible? -Remember,
当你服药时,你的身体认为 when you're on the pill,your body thinks
你怀孕了,它在想 that it's pregnant,and it's thinking,
“我该如何找到一个优秀异性伴侣 "How can I get a good male provider
照顾我的宝宝?" to take care of my baby?"
外貌条件变得不重要 Physical appearance is less important.
但是一旦你停止服药,你的脑子在想 But once you're off the pill,your brain is thinking,
"我该如何撩到一个帅哥 "How can I get a handsome man
和我上床然后给我生一个漂亮宝宝?" to fertilize me and give me an attractive baby?"
问题可能比 And this problem might be
我们想象的更为严重 even bigger than we think.
从1960年起,英国平均胸围 Since the 1960s, the average British breast size
变大了三个罩杯 has increased by three cup sizes.
一开始,专家认为 At first, experts thought
这只是体重增长的结果 It was only due to weight gain.
但很多英国女性 But many British women
身材保持的很好 have maintained their body proportions,
这让专家开始相信 leading experts to believe
一个令人不安的理论... a more disturbing theory...
英国人增长的胸围是因为 the increased British breast size was due
避孕药里的 to the unnaturally high estrogen levels
不自然的过高的雌性激素水平 that are mainly found in the pill.
抛去药的因素，你认为女性 Aside from the pill, do you think women
天生就比男性性欲旺盛吗? naturally have a higher sex drive than men?
从我专业的角度看,不是 In my professional opinion, no.
问题来了— Here's the problem--
女性的性欲更多在脑海里 The female sex drive is more in the mind,
男性的性欲更多表现在行动上 and the male sex drive is more in the body.
衡量行动容易 So it's easy to measure the body,
但衡量脑海中的所思所想 but it's very difficult
衡量女性心中真正的想法 to measure what's going on in the mind,
可不容易 to measure what women are really thinking.
所以女性可以拥有更旺盛的性欲 So women can have a higher sex drive.
个人而言 Personally speaking,
我认为女性性欲更旺盛 I think yes, woman have a higher sex drive.
但问题是,我们不打算展现它 But the problem is, we don't get to show it.
-你想要表达什么? -我认为它和女性成长的方式 -What do you mean exactly? -I think it has to do
有关系 with the way in which women are raised.
大多数男性被教育 Most guys have been taught
出去闯荡,表现男子气概 to go out there and "macho"
人生得意须尽欢，莫使金樽空对月 and have as much fun as possible.
但是大多数女孩被教导要谦虚低调 But most girls have been taught to be modest.
这就是为啥她们的性欲表现更内敛 That's why their sex drive is more internal.
有时女性甚至不知道什么时候她们有了性欲 And sometimes women don't even know when they are aroused.
如果一个男性有了性欲,他能立即感到 If a man is aroused,he immediately
下体的勃起 feels an erection down there.
但一位女性有了性欲 But when a woman is aroused,
她没有任何方法知道它 she doesn't have any way of knowing it.
她用自己的直觉 She uses her intuition.
更多时候是一种情绪化感受 It's much more often emotional feeling.
-所以我们的性欲更有可能欺骗我们. -是的. -So our sex drives are more tricky then. -Yes.
看看这个 Have a look at this.
这是一对马赛人夫妻.你能告诉我 This is a Maasai couple.Can you tell me,
这幅画中谁才是女性? who is the woman in this picture?
-我认为是左边的那个. -错. -I think it's the one on the left. -No.
留着长发戴着珠宝的才是男性 The one with the long hair and the jewelry is the man.
很多人认为 Many people think that
女性视觉冲击力不如男性 women are less visual than men.
但这完全错了 But it's absolutely not true.
事实上完全相反 In fact,it's the exact opposite.
女性比男性视觉冲击力更强 Women are more visual than men.
在西方,我们其实 In the West,we actually have
和美学标准背道而驰 the beauty standard backwards.
一开始，男性才被要求美 Originally, it's men who are supposed to be beautiful.
想想雄孔雀和它的羽毛 Think about the peacock and its feathers,
或者狮子和它的鬃毛 or the lion and its mane,
甚至鸭子 or even ducks.
美丽的是雄性 It's the males who are beautiful,
不是雌性 not the females.
事实上,当研究员 In fact, when researchers
开始研究雌性的欲望 began to study female desire,
他们被震惊了 they were shocked.
他们不仅发现女性 Not only did they discover that women
看黄片时的性奋程度和男性一样 were just as aroused as men when watching porn,
他们还发现女性有 they also discovered that women had
更宽广的性兴奋区域 a wider range of arousal than men.
即使是非人类的性交 Even non-human sex
也能激发女性性欲 aroused women.
和地球上芸芸众生一样 Like millions of people across the globe,
我和我的丈夫对 my husband and I are outraged and heartbroken
200多个尼日利亚女孩半夜在寝室被绑架的新闻 over the kidnapping of more than 200 Nigerian girls
感到震怒和心碎 from their school dormitory in the middle of the night.
一开始,巴基斯坦塔利班组织 From the beginning,the Pakistan Taliban
承认向马拉拉·优素福·扎伊开枪(最年轻诺贝尔和平奖获得者） took credit for shooting Malala Yousafzai
因为她对塔利班和 because she spoke out against the Taliban
他们对女性教育的压制政策出言不逊 and their restrictions on education for girls.
十四个巴基斯坦村镇议会议员因为 Fourteen Pakistani village council members have been arrested
疑似预谋强奸一个年轻女子而被逮捕 for allegedly ordering a teenage girl to be raped.
印度针对女性的犯罪在过去的一段时间里增加了一倍 Crimes against women in India have double in the last decade,
激起了全球舆论的责难 sparking worldwide condemnations.
在印度,据报道每二十分钟就有一起强奸案 In India, a rape case is reported every 20 minutes.
一个23岁的女生 A 23-year-old student gang-raped
在首都的一辆巴士里被群奸 inside a moving bus in the nation's capital.
用一根铁棍进行性侵犯 Sexually assaulted with an iron rod,
她的内脏被拖出 her internal organs pulled out.
浑身伤痕累累,随后她死了 The injuries so brutal,she later died.
这个令人发指的行径被叫做“荣誉杀人” The very term "honor killing"
有一个邪恶但误导性极强的特点 has a sinister but misleading ring to it.
父亲,兄弟,叔叔杀害妇孺 The murder of a woman or child by a father, brother or uncle
以为家庭树立羞耻观为名 for bringing perceived shame on the family.
在埃及,官方报道显示 In Egypt,official reports have shown
针对女性的暴力事件有所提升 that sexual violence against women has increased.
99.3%的埃及女性 99.3% of Egyptian woman
经历过某种形式的性暴力 have experienced some form of sexual violence.
沙特阿拉伯是世界上最保守的国家 Saudi Arabia is the most conservative country in the world,
女性仍然被禁止开车(现在能了) where women are still banned from driving
需要从男性监护人那里取得许可 and need permission from their male guardian,
如果你是父亲,丈夫,儿子,很容易就能得到一份工作 being a father, a husband or a son, to simply get a job.
几周前,她违背家族的意愿 Just a few weeks ago,she quietly married the love of her life
悄悄地嫁给了生命中的挚爱 against the wishes of her family.
婚后的那天，萨巴赫的父亲和叔叔 The day after the marriage, Sabbah's father and uncle
把她从新房中拽出来并要杀了她 took her from her new home and tried to kill her.
从小我就被告知女性 From a young age,I have been told that women
在历史上只拥有很少的权利 have always had little rights in history
我们正处在女性的黄金时代 and that we're now living in the golden age of women.
但如果那是错的呢? 今天我们将和 But what if that isn't true? Today we're meeting
安妮凡达米尔博士会面 with Dr. Annine van der Meer.
安妮是个历史学家,神学家,性别专家 Annine is a historian,theologian, and gender expert.
她出过几本书和文章来驳斥 She has written several books and articles that contradict
我们当今被灌输的关于女性的许多观点 many things that we are told about women today
并且揭露女性在历史中所扮演的隐藏角色 and reveal the hidden role of women in history.
女性在历史中扮演的是何种角色 What was the role of women in history,
与当今的有什么不同 and was it very different from today?
是的,大有不同 Yes. It was very different.
因为在男性叙事之前 Because before "his story,"
我们拥有女性叙事 we had "her story."
那是一段完全不同的时期 And that was a very different cultural period.
在那个时期 There was a lot of sexual freedom
性自由解放 in that period of history.
和平和睦 There was peace and harmony.
所以男性本质上是落后和具有侵略性的想法 So the idea that man is primitive and aggressive
是错误的 in his essence is wrong.
但情况 But that changed.
被气候的剧变改变 That changed by an enormous climate crisis
大约公元前3000年 around 3000 BC.
多个冰河世纪让地球变得干燥 Many ice ages dried up the earth
变得非常寒冷,所以人们无法 and made the word very cold so that people couldn't
在陆地上工作生活 work and live on the land anymore.
因为男人必须背井离乡 And because the men had to leave their land,
所以他们带走了马匹和牧群 they took the horses and the herds,
他们变成了游牧部落 and they became nomads.
因为他们为了活下去 Thus they had to conquer land
必须攻占他人的土地 of other people to live on,
他们建立了一个压制女性的 and they brought a male-dominated society
男权社会 which was very suppressive for women.
那么女性在性方面是怎样的? So how were women sexually?
过去的女性在性方面 Women in the past were sexually
与今天的女性有很大不同 very different than women of today.
首先,她们可以自由 First of all,they were free
选择自己的伴侣 to choose their partners,
她们还喜欢性爱和色情描写 and they loved sex and eroticism.
因为当时人口稀少 And having a baby
生孩子是件非常稀罕的事情 was something very precious because there were few people.
后来,当人们在城市和居所定居下来后 And afterwards,when people settled down in settlements and cities,
女性仍然非常自由 the women also stayed very free
可以选择她们的伴侣 and could choose their partners,
所以性真的不单单是 so sexuality was really something
生物学和药理学上的事 which was bigger than a biological, medical thing.
它应该是感情,心理学 It was an emotional, psychological0
和神学上的事 and spiritual thing.
让我问你个问题 Let me ask you a question.
你认为世界上最古老的职业是啥, Which is the oldest profession in the world,
世界上最古老的职业是啥 do you think?
我猜或许是卖淫 I guess prostitution, maybe.
从单纯历史角度上讲是卖淫 In history,it's prostitution.
但在母系社会中,是产婆 but in "her story,"it's midwifery.
产婆帮助孕妇 The midwife helping the pregnant woman
助产接生 to deliver the baby,
用药草放松肌肉 using herbs to relax the muscles.
产婆拥有丰富的药草知识 She has a lot of herbal knowledge.
对节育也了解颇多 She knows a lot about birth control.
这就是为什么女性有如此多的性自由 That's why they had so much sexual freedom.
她们可以选择她们的男性伴侣 They could choose their male partners.
她们对怀上孩子毫不害怕 They were not afraid to have babies.
她们可以在最终决定生育对象前 They could experiment with them
进行婚前试爱 before they choose a final partner to have babies with.
喔!当我想到产婆时 Wow!When I think of midwives,
我只想到助产而不是节育 I only think about giving birth,not preventing it.
过去的女性比现在的女性 Women in the past knew much more about
在避孕方面的知识了解的更多 anti-conception than women today.
-真的吗? -是的 -Seriously? -Yes.
很多人认为性革命(性解放,嬉皮士运动重要标志) Many people think that sexual revolution started
是从60年代避孕药的问世开始的 with introducing the pill in the '60s,
但是避孕知识出现的 but this anti-conception knowledge
还要更早,早一个世纪 was much older, millennia older.
它给女性极大的自由 It gave the women a lot of freedom.
但是随后这个知识遗失了 But then this knowledge was lost.
在欧洲中世纪末期 At the end of the Middle Ages in Europe,
发生了一场大瘟疫 there became a serious illness, a plague,
人口锐减 and the population was decimated.
很多村庄和土地都荒废了 Many villages and lands were empty,
教廷和邦就想 and then Church and State thought,
"我们要增加人口." "We have to repopulate."
他们想,"印象中谁 And then they thought, "Well, who do we know
谁掌管生产啊? who manages fertility
and who controls fertility?"
是产婆,然后他们想 That was the midwife.And they thought,
"好把,除掉她们 "Well, let's remove them.
我们叫她们女巫." Let's call them witches."
女巫的字面意思是巫术,是未知 The literal meaning of the word "witch" is wiccan,is "to know."
我总认为巫术是个贬义词 I always thought that "witch" was a negative word,
-但它真实的意思是代表知识 -是的 -but it's actually about knowledge. -Yes.
产婆掌握这门古代的知识 Midwives had this ancient knowledge
关于掌管生育 about managing fertility,
关于减少人口 about reducing fertility,
和增加人口 and enhancing fertility.
这些智慧的女性 So these wise women
以巫术的罪名被处死 were accused of witchery.
对巫术的追杀开始 And a witch hunt started,
在欧洲蔓延开来 and it spread itself all over Europe.
许多国家参与,大量的女性被杀害 There were so many countries,and many, many, many women were murdered.
控诉产婆的魔法 To accuse midwives of magical acts
与魔鬼的媾和 and copulating with the devil
这些控诉都是关于生育和性行为 was all about fertility and sexual acts.
所以我们本有着旺盛的性欲,却被教廷夺走 So we had a high sex drive,but then the Churchtook it away?
是的.我们在西方历史中 Yes.We in Western cultures
度过了一段漫长的性压抑的 have a long, long and very tragic history
痛苦历史 of sexual repression--
性欲的压抑 repression of the libido,
身体意识的压抑 repression of body awareness.
性荒谬至极 Sex was perverse.
性粗鄙下流 Sex was vulgar.
我们在性和宗教间 And we have this split
有道隔阂 between sexuality and religion.
我们拥有的自由在哪? Where is that freedom we had?
我们曾经拥有的东西? 都没了 We once had? It's gone.
举个例子.看看现在的埃及 For example,look at Egypt now.
大量女性从头到脚 So many women totally covered up
把自己捂的严严实实 from top to toe.
甚至是手 Even the hands,
在40℃的高温下- 太恐怖了 in 40 degrees of warmth--it's terrible.
但曾经的日子是如此不同 But how different it once was.
她们可以拥有土地 They could own land,
可以旅行 they could travel,
可以去集市换商品 they could go to the market and exchange goods.
一切皆有可能 她们可以选择自己的丈夫 Everything was possible.They could choose their own husbands.
她们可以嫁给任何自己中意的人 They could marry whoever they liked.
所以我们的性欲得到很大程度上的尊重 So our sex drive was more respected.
-极大程度上 -好的 -Very much respected. -Okay.
最后一个问题— So the last question--
你认为女性 Do you think women have
比男性性欲更旺盛吗? a higher sex drive than men?
从历史上来说是的 Historically speaking, yes.
因为历史上的人类群体 Because in these ancient groups of people,
繁衍生育后代非常重要 it was so important that people got babies
这样群体才得以扩大 and that the group was enlarged.
女性渴望性爱 Women were eager to have sex.
她们因此荣耀 They were honored for that quality.
当她和他之间有了肉体和 When there was this physical attraction
灵魂上的吸引 and psychological attraction,
真切地爱慕她们的男伴侣 to really feel love and affection for their male partners,
她真的能陷入迷幻 she really could reach ecstasy,
她可以带着他一起陷入这份迷幻 and she could take him with her in that ecstasy.
我相信我们有这个能力 And I'm convinced we had that ability,
我们今天仍拥有它 and we still have that today.
男性对女性的关系之间有个 There is an element of hatred and rejection
仇恨和抵制的因素 in men's relationships to women
不幸的是女性并没有认识到其中的严重危害 which women are unfortunately unaware of at their peril.
所以我不知道性能干嘛 So I don't know what sex is for.
但我知道性被用来伤害女性 I do know how sex is used against women.
性交中占据好处的是主动的一方 The act of fucking being to the advantage
对被动的一方并不友好 of the one who fucks and to the disadvantage of the one who is fucked
而被动的一方往往是女性和地位较低的人 is always characterized as female and inferior.
-你认为男性做错了什么? -他们压迫女性 -What do you think men are doing wrong? -They oppress us as women.
他们束缚着我们 They won't let us be.
色情影像书刊本质上是对女性的交易 Pornography, essentially is the trafficking in women.
是在贩卖女性 It's the sale of women.
这就是一个性剥削产业链 It is a system of sexual exploitation
女性的价值被贬低 in which women are devalued,
女性被商品化 women are turned into commodities,
女性像肉一样被出售,事实上,女性正处于水深火热之中 women are sold as meat,women are, in fact, tortured.
五年前,我们对强奸受害者说 Five years ago,we said to rape victims,
你多享受啊,你想要它,你渴望它 "Oh, you enjoyed it, you wanted it,you asked for it."
我们现在对被剥削和色情片中 And now we are saying the same things to women
的女性还说着同样的话 who are forced into prostitution or into pornography.
美国甚至此处的大多数人 Most people in the States or probably even here
仍然不清楚色情作品中 don't really know what does go on
发生了什么 in pornography,
我认为表明立场 and I felt it very important
非常重要 to take a stand and, uh,
让人们知道色情影片不是一场没有受害者的犯罪 let people know that pornography is not a victimless crime
对发生在我身上 and to speak up and set the record straight
的事情直言不讳 as to what happened to me.
在女权运动的高峰之前 Before the height of the feminist movement,
主流色情片被视为 mainstream porn was seen as something that
男女共同观看的影像 men and women watched together.
男人和女人聚在屏幕前 Both men and women flocked to the screenings
观看类似深喉 绿门背后 to see films like Deep Throat,Behind the Green Door,
琼斯小姐里的恶魔 的片子 and The Devil Inside Miss Jones.
但在女权运动时期 But during the feminist movement,
色情片被抛弃 porn became divided.
色情片如今被视作强攻击性,男权产物, Porn was now seen as masculine, aggressive.
所以需要创造一种新型色情片 So a new type of porn had to be created,
适合现代女性的色情片 a type of porn that suited the modern woman.
和模糊暧昧相反 But instead of becoming less explicit,
女性脑海中的色情更加清晰 the porn that women had in mind was even more explicit
超越花花公子,展示万物 and would go beyond Playboy and show everything.
一个被称作花花女郎的 This was the rise of a new era,
新纪元崛起 and it was called Playgirl.
身为前主编 As the former editor-in-chief,
在花花女郎工作感觉怎样 what was it like working at Playgirl?
这绝对有点奇怪和荒诞 It's definitely strange and a little surreal.
我不感觉我成长过程中 I did not grow up
做了大量的观察 feeling like I was doing a lot of the looking.
当然我总能发现男性的魅力 Certainly I'd always found men attractive,
但讲真我从没站在过裸男身边 but I had literally never been standing around
看着他们 just looking at naked men before.
所以这很奇怪 So it was certainly strange,
但是过了一会,一切又变得正常 but after a while, it all just becomes very normalized.
当然,处理这种事,嗯 And, of course,dealing with,um,
mimbos让我兴趣衰减的很快 "mimbos" makes it get old really fast.
-"Mimbos"? -我认为mimbos -"Mimbos"? -I think of mimbos
大概是和男性眼中的胸大无脑一个意思 as basically just the male version of bimbos.
指只是注重 Guys who are just solely focused
外表的男性 on what they look like and how they're appearing.
他们的美黑喷雾有多真或多假 How fake their spray tan does or doesn't look.
他们的牙齿有多白 How white their teeth are.
胸毛胡子剃了没 Whether they shaved their chest hair and if there's stubble.
只是一些无关性感的细节 Really just un-sexy details
这, 嗯... that, um...
你知道的,就像取下了 you know, just kind of take away all of, like,
你在相机后性感外貌的光环 the sex appeal when you're the person behind the camera.
所以这里有个双重标准 So there was a double standard.
是的，双标非常严重 Yeah, there's a pretty big double standard.
如果一个女性为花花公子拍照,这有助于她的事业 If a woman poses for Playboy, it can help to launch her career.
如果一个男性为花花女郎拍照,他的事业将会终结,被人看扁 If a guy poses for Playgirl,he can end up getting fired or he's seen as cheap
或者在某些方面有种羞耻心在刺激他 or there's a stigma against it in some other way.
喔.你最后是怎么在花花女郎工作的? Wow. How did you end up working for Playgirl?
嗯...滑稽的故事 Um... funny story.
我刚从研究生院毕业 I had just finished grad school,
克雷格列表（网站）有个关于花花女郎执行主编岗位的广告 and Craigslist had an ad for managing editor at Playgirl.
我开玩笑般地投了简历 And I applied really as a joke,
当他们叫我去面试时,我震惊了 and when they called me in for an interview, I was shocked.
但我进去了,我从没看过一本花花女郎 But I went in. I had never seen a Playgirl before.
你从没看过一本花花女郎 You had never seen a Playgirl before,
-但你想在花花女郎工作 -是的 -but you wanted to work at Playgirl. -Yeah.
在那工作辛苦吗? And was it hard working at Playgirl?
挑战当然很大 It was challenging, for sure.
杂志由女性运营 The magazine was run by women,
拥有者却是一位异性恋男士 owned by heterosexual men,
又想迎合男同读者的口味 and also was trying to cater to a gay audience.
这三角关系几乎不可能 It was very much an impossible triangle.
-所以你必须妥协 -是的 -So you had to compromise. -Yes.
妥协了非常多,经常自我审视 There was a lot of compromise.asking questions like,
什么是色情片 什么是色情书画 界限是什么 "What is porn?" "What is erotica?" "Where is the line?"
女性想要的是什么 男性心中女性想要什么 What women wanted and what men thought women wanted--
这并不容易定义 it was not always easy to define.
呃,我知道我自己想要什么 Well, I know what I want.
但你知道大多数女性想要什么吗? Yes, but do you know what most other women want?
嗯,一个充满魅力的裸男 Um, a naked,attractive man.
是的,但你是想要他和你上床 Sure, but do you want him lying in bed,
还是想要他做事 or do you want him doing something?
你想要他疲软或坚挺? 你想他和另一个男性一起? Do you want him flaccid or hard?Do you want him with another guy?
还是你想让他和一个女性一起? Do you want him with another woman?
还是他独自一人? 沐浴中? 在外面? Do you want him by himself? In the shower? Outside?
快速敲定大众口味的选题 It becomes very difficult very quickly
变得非常之难 to pick out something that's going to please everybody.
好的.我懂你的意思了 Okay. I get what you're saying.
女性想要的比单纯一个站在面前 Woman need a little more than just
的裸男更多 a man standing in front of her naked.
呃,男性浏览花花公子或阁楼杂志, Um, guys have a little bit of an easier time
看着女人站在那时更为放松 flipping through a Playboy or Penthouse and seeing a woman just standing there.
但是女性更注意有没有故事线 But a woman is more likely to notice if there's no story line.
她更会去关注他的妆容好不好 She's more likely to notice if his makeup sucks
美黑霜掉了没,他的发质好不好 or if his spray tan is off or if his hair is bad.
她在寻找这些细节 She's looking for all of these details,
这也是我们花花女郎的使命 and so our responsibility with Playgirl
思考这些东西并传递出去 was to think in those terms and deliver.
喔.花花女郎是如何起家的? Wow. How did Playgirl begin?
花花公子在50年代起家 Well, you had Playboy coming of age in the '50s,
60年代发生了性革命 and then the sexual revolution happened in the '60s.
花花女郎在1973年创办 And Playgirl was started in 1973
作为女权主义者对花花公子的回应 as a feminist response to Playboy.
-我听说珍妮兰伯特说服她丈夫创办了花花女郎 -是的 -I heard Jenny Lambert convinced her husband to start Playgirl. -Yes.
多年后,花花女郎有了大批读者 And over the years,Playgirl had huge numbers.
全盛时期时, And in its heyday, it had
大约有一千万订阅者 something like 10 million subscribers.
80年代,花花女郎在超过32个国家出版 By the '80s, Playgirl was getting published in more than 32 countries.
拥有自己的电视频道,时事讽刺秀 It had its own TV channel,male revue shows.
到处都有它的踪影 It was literally everywhere.
甚至俄罗斯都有它的花花女郎杂志 Even Russia had its own Playgirl magazine.
但为什么后来花花女郎停刊了 But then why did Playgirl magazine stop?
我认为最终 I think ultimately
我们无法达成一致 we couldn't get the equation right.
我记得有天在会议室 I remember one day in a conference room
我的一个老板严肃的 one of my bosses turning to me and saying,
和我说 completely seriously,
女性不喜欢看裸男 "Women do not like to look at naked men."
我傻了 And... I was shocked,
我回应他,我是个女人 and I responded to him and said,"But I'm a woman,
我喜欢看裸男 and I do like to look at naked men.
我馋他们的身子 I'm attracted to that."
他直接炒了我鱿鱼 And he completely dismissed me.
-喔 -是的 -Wow. -Yes.
我认为如果他们让我们做真正想做的 I think if they had let us do what we wanted to,
这家公司的女性管理者 what the female managers
想去做的内容 at this company were trying to do,
我认为花花女郎将有一个截然不同的未来 I think you would've seen a very different future for Playgirl.
但花花女郎开启了一些非常重要的项目 But Playgirl started something very important.
它在70年代没有得到应有的名声 There wasn't a name for it back in the '70s.
人们只是戏称它为前戏 People were just calling it "foreplay."
但花花女郎不是关于裸男 But Playgirl was not about naked men.
花花女郎做的内容是关于女性对于男色的追索 Playgirl was about women looking at naked men.
是关于女性凝视 It was about the female gaze.
-你是说女着男裸(Clothed Female Nude Male） -是的 -You mean CFNM. -Yes.
你可以看看 You can look at
这个封面作为例子 covers like this as an example,
但是在杂志中的男女之间 but there was so much more interaction
有太多的干扰 between men and women in the magazine
当这份杂志纯粹只为女性的时候 when it was truly entertainment for women.
你将会有交互,有联结 You have interaction, you have real connection,
你将有女性凝视 you have the female gaze.
如果你通读艺术史,凝视和偷窥大多是男性 If you study art history at all, the gaze and the voyeur
对于女性做出的行为 is always the man looking in on the woman.
而花花女郎本质上就是把这些甩他们脸上并说给爷爬 And Playgirl essentially flipped that on its head and said, "Fuck you."
这就是它如此成功的原因,这是 That's what made it so successful, was this idea that
我们鼓励女性夺回自主性权 we were empowering women to take their sexuality
把它抓在手里,映在眼的 into their own hands and their own eyes.
这正是精彩的部分 And that was what was so exciting.
我们收到的关于花花女郎摄影的 One of the most popular requests that we would get
最广泛的请求之一 with Playgirl for photo shoots was
是男性在房子周围做着家务 a man doing things like chores around the house
或者修东西之类的杂活 or fixing something.
甚至女性躺沙发上休息时 Even wearing an apron while
也穿着围裙 the woman relaxed on a couch.
本质上,女性的色情幻想 Essentially,porn for women was
是男性处于被奴役的位置 the men being in positions of servitude.
但最终我们失去了这种联结 But eventually we lost that connection,
局势土崩瓦解 and things started to disintegrate.
我们被迫更多的吸引男同读者 As we were pushed more and more to appeal to a gay male audience
和女性读者之间的直接联系越来越少 and to have less of a direct connectionto our female readers,
许多东西在翻译的过程中流失了 a lot of things just started to get lost in translation.
-为啥? -因为 -Why? -Because
顶端势力的观点 the people at the top were very firmly rooted
根深蒂固 in their ideas that
认为女性不会想看这种东西 women didn't want to look at this kind of stuff.
即使你看见更多的女性色情片被拍出来 And even though you saw more porn being made for women,
看见五十度灰上映 and you saw things like Fifty Shades of Grey coming out,
内部仍对女性不会买这些杂志 there was still this overwhelming belief in-house
的观点深信不疑 that women were not the ones who would be buying these magazines.
-是吗? -真的 -Really? -Yes.
他们认为只有男同才会看花花女郎 They thought that only gay men looked at Playgirl.
这蠢爆了 And... that was silly
因为喜欢看花花女郎的男同 because the gay men who enjoyed Playgirl
是从女性的角度来享受花花女郎 had always enjoyed it because it was from a female perspective.
当我们在争取男同 So as soon as we started
市场迎合男同口味的道路上 erring more on the side of
越走越远 what's considered gay posesor gay content,
我们与那些创刊起享受花花女郎 we alienated those gay readers
的男同读者越来越疏离 who had enjoyed the magazine from when it started,
在这过程中,我们同样疏远着我们的女性读者 but also in the process, we alienated our female readers.
意料之外的是,花花女郎埋下了一个种子 But unknowingly,Playgirl planted a seed.
即使杂志不再印刷,女着男裸的现象也到处可见 Even without the magazine in print, CFNM is everywhere.
在每一张性感火辣的照片中,泛滥在互联网里 It's in every hot photo shoot,it's all over the Internet,
电视中,电影中 it's in television,it's in movies.
变成了一种女性眼中 It has become sort of the gold standard
情色的黄金标准 in what women generally see as erotic.
另外,谁发明了这个词? 你? By the way,who invented the word? You?
-不,是布兰德 -布兰德?一个男人? -No, it was Brad. -Brad? A guy?
-是的 -好吧 -Yes. -Okay.
所以你认为谁性欲性欲更旺盛? So who do you think has a higher sex drive?
我会说 都一样 I would say it's equal,
但我想说,如果女性觉醒, but I can say that if women were raised
开始视自己为性的产物时 to think of themselves as sexual creatures,
你很可能会见识到一个大相径庭的世界 you would probably see a very different world.
1916年 In 1916,
环球影业薪水最高的导演 Universal Studios' highest-paid director
不是一个男人 was not a man,
而是一个女性 but a woman.
1925年的过半数电影 Half of all films before 1925
是由女性编剧的 were written by women.
但是如今,只有百分之七的 But today,only seven percent
好莱坞电影是由女性导演 of Hollywood films are directed by woman,
在2017年,没有一个女导演 and in 2017,not a single female director
提名奥斯卡 was nominated for an Oscar.
在好莱坞工业体系里,女性在消亡 In the Hollywood film industry,woman are declining.
然而在其他产业里,女性在崛起 But in another industry,women are rising.
在成人产业里,今年 In the adult industry,this year
美国成人奥斯卡提名的导演36%都是女性 36% of AVN-nominated directors are women.
表面上,你以为 On the surface,you'd think that
色情产业是由男性把持的 the porn industry is male-dominated.
但是从色情产业的伊始 But since the beginning of porn,
女性就已经开始掌镜 women have stood behind the camera,
而且数量在快速增长 and their numbers are rapidly increasing.
今天我将和一个 Today I'm meeting one of those female directors,
获得多个提名,奖项的女性导演会面 the nominated and multi award-winning director,
詹妮弗 莱昂 贝尔 Jennifer Lyon Bell.
你是怎么想到把拍色情片作为未来的职业的 How did you get the idea to make porn as your future?
嗯,这是我 Um, well, it's been something
考虑了很长时间的事情 that I was thinking about for a long time.
当我还在上高中时, 我已经看过一些黄片了 When I was in high school, I had seen a little bit of porn,
我很失望因为 and I thought it was really disappointing because
我和我的朋友都有点性活跃 my friends and I were somewhat sexually active,
我们做的一切都比 and everything that we did was much more fun
我们手中的这种黄片更为有趣 than this porn film that we had managed to get a hold of.
时光流逝,我想,没事,最终总有人 And over time, I thought, okay,well, eventually somebody will
会拍出吸引我的片子 start making films that appeal more to me
或者他们将会拍出从女性视角出发的片子 or feel more like they're coming from a woman's perspective.
这一直是我的一个性幻想,然后 So that was always a private fantasy of mine, and then
我去哈佛读研究生 I went to Harvard for my undergraduate degree,
从哈佛毕业的没有一个人说 and nobody ever graduates from Harvard
我要去拍色情片 saying, "I'm going to do porn."
所以片子中的无聊情节切实激发了你 So the boredom in the films actually triggered you
-拍更好的影片? -是的 -to make better films? -Yeah.
当我看色情片时,我在想,"这看起来 When I watched porn, I thought, "This looks
真无聊." really, um, boring."
无聊的故事 The stories are boring,
性元素本身也没给故事增添太多的火花 but also the sex itself doesn't have a lot of spark to it.
我最关心的是两人之间碰擦出的火花 And that's the thing that I cared most about, was the spark between people.
所以我会寻找, So I would look for, like,
一整部影片里的真正刺激的 the 10 seconds or 20 seconds in a whole movie
10秒或20秒镜头,然后我会只看那10秒 that was really exciting,and I would just watch that 10 seconds.
一段时间后,我想,这不太行 And after a time, I thought,"That's kind of a low bar.
应该有更多我们女人想看的电影 There should be more of the movie that we want to watch."
但这是使你电影与众不同的因素吗? But what is it that makes your films different?
我看过许多为男性拍摄和由男性掌镜的片子 Well, I watch a lot of porn that's made for men and by men,
但是我在这些片子中最常看到的是 but what I see in those films often is
那些女性无法感同身受的因素 things that I as a woman can't really relate to.
对我而言最重要的是片中 So one thing that's super important to me is that
女性的愉悦和真实的性高潮 women's pleasure and orgasms be real in the movie.
因为,对我而言,如果无法达成这些,这对我来说是件坏事 Because, for me, if that's not there, it's a real deal-breaker for me.
-我无法享受它 -是的,片子绝对要自然 -I can't enjoy it. -Yeah, it definitely needs to look natural.
是的.为了做到这点 Yeah.Yeah.And so to do that,
我作为电影制作者学到的是 what I've learned as a filmmaker is,
我必须创造出充分安全的空间条件和 I have to create a very safe space on set
和一个演员能够 and create an environment where the performers have time
以他们自己的节奏 to kind of come to orgasm
迎来高潮的环境 in their own rhythm.
这和绝大多数电影的布景都有很大不同 And that's really different than most film sets of any kind
事情都,呃,按照节奏一步步的来 where things are, uh, a little bit on a pace.
我完全同意 I totally agree.
真实的高潮观感更好 Real orgasms are so much better to watch.
为什么女性都要装作高潮? And why do women fake all of their orgasms?
我是说,男性不喜欢看女性达到真正的高潮吗? I mean, don't men like watching women have real orgasms?
男性在看色情片时 Well, in porn,men who watch porn,
我不认为他们能分辨 I don't think they always can tell the difference between
真高潮和假高潮 real orgasms and fake orgasms.
我认为男性喜欢看女性达到真正的高潮 I think men would like watching woman have real orgasms,
但是作为女性,我的高潮雷达 but as a woman, my orgasm-dar--
-像雷达,但是是为了性高潮-非常敏锐 like radar, but for orgasms--is particularly good,
因为我是女人,这是我身体 'cause I'm a woman, and that's my body.
我们需要真实.自然. So we need a real thing.Just natural.
绝对是的.更自然.我指,我想在片中 Definitely. More natural.I mean,the positions
看到的体位 that I like to see in porn
不包括比如,双腿分得老开 don't have, like,legs spread wide
却没有阴蒂刺激 with no, like,clitoral stimulation,
女人叫的欢，但叫床声听起来却 And then the woman is screaming,but the screams don't even sound
不像是她在享受快乐 like she's having that much fun.
这些东西我从来不会让它们出现在我的电影里 These are things that I wouldn't put in any of my movies,
而且我不认为任何女性色情片 and I don't think anybody who is making porn
导演会把它们拍进他们的电影 for a female audience would put it in their movies,
因为它们不自然 because it just doesn't feel natural.
但最重要的是,不管和你共事的人是谁 But the most important thing is,no matter who you're working with,
你必须让人感觉舒服 you have to make people feel very comfortable.
事实上,如果我想要女演员 And in fact, once I decided that I wanted the actors
与他人的相处更加舒服 to become more comfortable with each other,
我会安排让她们蒸个桑拿 so I had arranged that they should go to the sauna.
你知道我在想吗? 我不希望她们想 And then I thought,you know what? I don't want them to think, like,
"噢你们两个只是演员,我在这,我才是导演.“ "Oh, you two are the performers,and I'm up here, the director."
然后我想,也许我们都该去蒸蒸桑拿 And then I thought, maybe we should all go to the sauna together
抛去条条框框,浑身赤裸 and just kind of get it over with,and we'll all be naked.
-真的? -真的. -Really? -Yeah.
全裸还是不露三点? Like, naked, naked or bikini naked?
嗯,全裸 Uh, we were naked, naked.
喔,那可真酷.那么,人们 Wow, that's pretty cool. So, do people
-八卦你的生活吗? -有 -have assumptions about your life? -Yeah.
有的,举个例子,人们可能八卦我单身 Yeah, like, for example, people probably assume that I'm single,
我实际上有个家庭 when in fact actually I have a family
生了个一个女儿 and a daughter.
妈妈的角色对你的工作有影响吗? So does being a mom have any effect on your work?
不完全是,我,呃... Not really. I, uh...
我对我的职业感到自豪 I'm proud of what I do,
我的女儿目前还理解不了 and my daughter doesn't understand it yet
她所知道的只有妈妈为大人们拍电影 because all she knows is that Mama makes movies for grownups,
而且她,呃,不被允许 and she's, uh, not allowed
-靠近那里,所以,呃... -好的 -anywhere near it, so, uh... -Okay.
所以实际上女性色情片的市场有多大? So how big is porn for women, actually?
当我从业时,市场很小 When I started,it was very small.
但它现在壮大了许多 But now it's grown a lot.
事实上,现在有个专为女性放色情片的 And in fact,now there's a cable channel
有线频道 that just shows porn for women.
-这很酷 -是的 -That's really cool. -Yeah.
女性色情片很浪漫吗? And is porn for women romantic?
不.不一定是浪漫的 No. Porn for women is not always romantic.
很多人认为 And you're right that a lot of people assume
女性只对浪漫的性爱感兴趣 that women are only interested in sex if there's romance involved.
但是这是错的,给女性拍的色情片种类多样 But, no, porn for women is really varied.
很多女性喜欢 A lot of women really like porn
毫无浪漫感的色情片,像关于 that's not at all romantic, which is like
BDSM的片子, BDSM porn, for example,which doesn't have
没有传统浪漫特征 all of those traditional hallmarks of romance.
这是因为化学反应和某种情结 It's about chemistry and connection
对另一人的强烈爱慕 and being super into each other,
但和浪漫没有一点关系 but that might have nothing at all to do with romance.
人们可能最后不会在一起 The people might not end up together.
我非常喜欢这种处理 And I really like that because
因为流行文化中有太多关于 there are so many messages in popular culture
女性应该崇尚浪漫的声音 about how women should love romance, and,
能从你片子里汲取到不一样的东西的感觉真好 you know, I think it's nice to get something else from your porn as well.
哈哈 Yeah.
我也喜欢做新的尝试 I also like to experiment.
除了BDSM,女性还喜欢看什么样的片子 But apart from BDSM, what do women like more?
很多女性喜欢看钙片 A lot of women watch gay porn,
也有许多女性喜欢看蕾丝片 and a lot of women watch lesbian porn.
-蕾丝片? -我想如果你看的是真正的蕾丝片, - Lesbian porn? -I think if you're looking at real lesbian porn,
不是为了男性而拍摄的假蕾丝片. like, not fake lesbian porn made for dudes to watch,
而是女性真正享受彼此 but where women are really actually enjoying each other
互相宽衣解带,用器具互相玩弄 and getting each other off,the technique in there
互相舔阴 for going down on each other,for cunnilingus,
这可能比你在主流的为男性拍摄的色情片中 is so much better than what you might see
见到的还要好 in a mainstream porn film that's made for guys,
我像很多女性幻想着 and I think there are a lot of women who have fantasized
拥有一个差不多的性爱体验 about having a same-sex experience.
我明白你在说什么 I get what you're saying.
有时候我也非常了解女人 I'm kind of into women too, sometimes.
也许比我想的更多 Maybe even more than I think I do.
你懂我的意思吧? Well, you know what I mean, right?
-对吧? -是的 -Right? -Okay.
Yeah. Yeah. Um...
但是为啥钙片这么火? But why is gay porn so popular?
你看过钙片吗? Have you seen gay porn?
喜欢，有太多喜欢的点了 Well, like, there's so much to like about it,
从女性的角度出发 you know, from a woman's perspective.
有一点就是 One is that, um,
男的长得好看 the men are very good looking.
你能看片里的一切.你能看他们的身体 You get to see everything.You get to see their bodies,
你还能看他们的脸 but you also get to see their faces,
在某些主流色情片中 and in some mainstream porn,
你看不到这些东西 you don't get to see either of those things.
在钙片里,这些东西都在那 And in gay porn, that's all there is.
真的好看 It's... It's really nice to see.
为女性拍片的时候有什么不便的地方吗? Are there disadvantages in making porn for women?
呃，大多数常人鼎力支持 Well, mostly regular people are super supportive,
但是公司是另一个问题 but companies are another problem.
没有人想接手色情片 Nobody wants to deal with porn,
尽管这是部合乎伦理和有趣万分的色情片 even if it's really ethical and fun porn.
我想我在做的 What I'm making is something that I think
是很多人喜欢但无从寻找的东西 a lot of people really like, and they're just having trouble finding it.
最后一个问题— The final question--
女性性欲更旺盛吗? Do women have a higher sex drive?
我不知道女性是否有更旺盛的性欲 I don't know if women have a higher sex drive,
但我认为女性至少有和男性相同的性欲 but I think women have a sex drive that's at least as high as guys'.
我知道我个人感觉很奇怪 I know that I personally felt, like, weird
因为我性欲很旺盛,而且我遇到了 because I had a high sex drive,and now that I have met
很多像我一样的女性，我懂的 so many women who are just like me, I know that,
女性就是这样 yeah, this is the way women are.
情色小说五十度灰 The erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey
成为有史以来销售最快的平装书 has become the fastest-selling paperback since records began
在2012年底通过正规渠道销售一百万本了 and is on course to sell one million copies by the end of 2012,
在英国榜单上打败了JK罗琳的哈利波特系列 beating J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series
和丹布朗的达芬奇密码 and Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code to the U.K. record.
在前24小时有了1.14亿的浏览量,对吗? 114 million views in the first 24 hours, right?
超过了星球大战预告片 More than Star Wars did in its trailer.
以每秒前所未闻的速度销售着 And it's selling at the unheard-of rate of one book a second.
它本质上是本成人情色小说 And it's essentially an adult erotic book.
马来西亚禁止它在影院上映 Malaysia banned it from theaters,
认为它更多是部色情片 calling it"More pornography than movie."
-有很多性爱 -是的 -There's a lot of sex. -Yes.
-生动的性爱 -是的 -Graphic sex. -Yes.
但是我想说这部电影对于性爱非常坦率 But I would say that this movie is a lot more candid about sex
对于性爱的表达比大多数电影都要清晰 and a lot more articulate about sex than most are.
难以置信.这本书以疾风暴雨之势席卷全球 Unbelievable. This book has taken the world by storm.
登上了新闻周刊的封面,刊登在时代周刊里 It's on the cover of Newsweek.It's been featured in Time magazine,
在纽约时报和亚马逊畅销榜 it's number one on the best-seller list
上独占鳌头 in both the New York Times and on Amazon.com.
我坐地铁时 I cannot get on the subway,
人们去度假时都可以看到 nobody can go to a vacation resort without seeing women
女性人手一本 holding this book in their hands.
如此多人在读这本书,我好奇我们是否 And I wonder if we've turned a page with this book culturally,
在文化上随着这本书到了一个崭新的阶段 that so many people are reading it,
是否已经谈性不变色了 that it has become okay to really talk about sex.
所以是捆绑,惩罚 So what is it about bondage, discipline,
施虐和受虐 submission and masochism
拨动了如此之多女性的心弦吗? that strikes a chord with so many women?
这本书在利用女性的渴望 This book is tapping into longings that women have
我特别想说的是这是教会 that I would say particularly the Church
从未真正了解或处理的 hasn't really acknowledged or addressed,
女性蜂拥向此,因为她们想要满足需求 and women are just flocking to it because they feel like it's going to meet a need.
花钱助性传统意义上 Spending money on sex
和男性联结在一起 was traditionally associated with men.
但是随着女性经济水平的提高,越来越多的女性 But with the economic rise of women, more and more women
开始在她们的性需求上花钱 have started spending money on their sexual desires--
花费如此之多以至于经济学家 so much so that economists
开始重新审视女性的性行为 are beginning to re-think women's sexual behavior.
其中一个经济学家就是黛安比曼斯 One of these economists is Dian Biemans.
根据比曼斯小姐所说,女性可能看上去基本无害 According to Ms. Biemans, women may look innocent,
但是如果我们将目光转向数字 but if we start looking at the numbers,
我们将会看到一幅完全不同的画面 we will begin to see a very different story.
如果你真的想了解女性 If you really want to understand women,
你需要了解五十度灰 you need to understand Fifty Shades of Grey.
事实是女性把这本书捧得如此之高 The reality is that women have bought this erotic novel
以至于这本书卖了 in such a volume, that it has surpassed
1.5亿多本 150 million sales
被翻译成超过52种不同的语言 and was translated into 52 different languages,
跻身人类历史上 elevating it to become one of the most successful pieces of literature
最成功的文学作品之列 ever written in human history.
这告诉了我们女性真正的欲望 That should tell us something about the real desires of women.
当然这并不是糖和香料(指女孩) And it's certainly not sugar and spice.
我呼吁人们停止把女性捧上神坛 I urge people to stop putting women on pedestals
将目光转向数字, and start looking at the numbers,
因为当谈到性时 because when it comes to sex,
数字真的描绘了一个完全不同的图景 the numbers tell a really different story.
为什么五十度灰如此成功 Why is Fifty Shades of Grey so successful?
我认为要真正理解 I think, in order to truly understand
五十度灰的成功 the success of Fifty Shades of Grey,
你需要从书中脱离出来然后研究作者 you need to stop looking at the book and start looking at the author,
一位叫E.L.詹姆斯的英国女性 a British woman named Mrs. E.L. James
平心而论,詹姆斯小姐是一位颜值中等 Mrs. James, in all honesty, is an average-looking,
丰满的中年白人妇女 chubby, middle-aged white woman.
她身上没有什么奇特的事情 There's absolutely nothing unique about her.
她可以说是平庸无奇 She could almost be described as being 100% average.
而这正是她真正成功之处 And that is where her real success lies,
因为她问自己一个重要的问题—— because she asked herself one important question--
作为一个平庸的女子,我如何才能和 "In what way can I,as an average woman,
一位霸道总裁上床 have sex with an alpha male
并仍然保持我的纯真无邪 and still retain my innocence?"
五十度灰解决了了几乎 Fifty Shades of Grey addresses the duality
每个女人都会面临的二元性 that almost every woman faces.
我相信每个女性的内心深处 I believe that deep inside every woman
都蛰伏着疯狂的性欲 is a crazy sex drive waiting to be unleashed.
然而与此同时,社会要求女性 But at the same time,society teaches women to be
表现恰当得体 well behaved and proper.
但是五十度灰打算不再束缚这个秘密 But Fifty Shades of Grey managed to unlock this secret
让女性的性欲汹涌奔腾 by allowing a woman's sex drive to be unleashed
与此同时仍然保留着某种性纯真 while still maintaining some kind of sexual innocence.
所以五十度灰让女性同时拥有两个世界最美好的东西 So Fifty Shades of Grey allows a woman to have the best of both worlds.
是的.但这不仅仅是在性欲望上 Yes, exactly. But it's not just middle-aged women
消费的中年妇女 who are spending money on their sexual desires.
有另外一群更容易消费的女性 There's another group of women that is far more lucrative.
问问任何一个音乐经理人,没有比 Ask any music executive.There is no market
赚少女的钱更容易的市场 as lucrative as teenage girls.
她们更投入,而且她们花的钱比任何群体都要多 They are more devoted,and they spend more money than any other group.
她们甚至有词语来描述性痴迷—— They even have words to describe the sexual obsession--
比伯热或者单向爱 "Bieber fever"or "One Direction affection."
想想 Just think about it.
那些见男春 It's girls who hyperventilate
女孩 just thinking about boys.
那些脱掉内衣扔向男孩的女孩 It's girls who take off their underwear and throw it at boys.
我从没看见过男孩脱掉内裤(我们敢?)只有女生干这种事 I don't see boys taking off their boxers.Only girls do that.
让我给你报几个数字 Let me just read you some numbers.
“1500名安保人员 "1,500 security personnel,
包括500名警察,便衣 including 500 policemen,private security guards,
和25名应急人员 and 25 emergency response officers."
我不是在说总统的安保力量 I'm not talking about the security of the president.
我只是在说贾斯丁比伯演唱会的安保力量 I'm just listing the security at a Justin Bieber concert.
这种程度的安保力量非常需要 And this security is seriously necessary.
过去几场演出因为安保无法控制疯狂的粉丝 And the past several shows had to be canceled because
而不得不暂停 the police could not control the screaming fans.
-不可思议 -是的 -That is incredible. -Yes.
有些人甚至说 Some might even argue
女性的一生会比男性在性上花更多的钱 that women end up spending more money on sex than men.
但和男性不同,女性花的钱没有这么直接 But unlike men, women are spending more money indirectly.
举个例子,一些研究表明 For example,some studies show that
买三英尺高跟鞋的女性吸引男性关注的欲望 women who buy three-inch-high heels
比穿平底鞋的女性 are almost twice as likely to receive sexual attention from men
要强烈两倍 than women who buy flat shoes.
化妆起着相同的作用 And makeup functions the same way.
女性非常希望看上去性感和富有魅力 Women want to look sexy and attractive,
所以她们在美妆产品上花了 so much so that they end up spending
难以置信的钱 incredible amounts on beauty products.
仅仅拿个数据来比较 And just to bring a statistic for comparison,
美国女性一年在性相关产品上 American men are spending approximately
花了大概130亿美元 13 billion dollars a year on porn-related products,
同时女性最终大概在美妆上消费130亿美元 while women end up spending approximately 13 billion on makeup,
这还不包括护肤,香水和护法产品 and that doesn't even include skin care, perfumes and hair products.
我认为最有趣的数据就是震动棒的销量 I think one of the most interesting statistics are vibrator sales.
现今震动棒的市值有29亿美金 Right now the market for vibrators is $2.9 billion,
而互联网色情的市值只有28亿 while the market for Internet porn is just $2.8 billion.
对的.女性在震动棒上花的钱比男性 That's right. Women spend more money on vibrators
在互联网上看黄片花的钱还要多 than men spend on watching Internet porn.
-所以,你认为女性有更旺盛的性欲吗?-是的 -So, do you think women have a higher sex drive? -Yes.
我认为性特征是女性身份的一个重要部分 I think sexuality is more a part of a woman's identity,
体现在我们穿的衣服和化的妆上 in the clothes we wear,the makeup we put on.
我认为我们对自己的性了解很多 I think we are much more aware of our own sexuality.
但我认为男性不喜欢表现 But I don't think men
他们的性 display their sexuality that much.
有时我们整天游荡,觉得非常性感 Sometimes I can walk around all day feeling sexy,
但我认为大多数男人不会觉得这很性感 but I don't think most men will ever feel that way.
为什么越来越多的男性在摆脱婚姻 Why more and more men are ditching marriage,
父亲的身份,甚至美国梦 fatherhood, even the American dream.
原因会让你震惊甚至作呕 The reason will surprise you and perhaps make you nauseous.
和以前相比,更多女性选择单身 So many women staying single, more than ever before.
因为不想为微不足道的爱妥协 'Cause we won't settle for a lesser love.
作为现代女性,我们有了经济保障 We now have the financial security
得到了完整的教育和培育了独立精神 and all of the education and the independence
等待真爱的到来 as modern women to wait for the right love,
我们不会妥协 and we won't settle for less.
当他们嫁给不那么成功的人时 And when they marry somebody who's less successful,
她们的婚姻就变得不那么满意,更多的想要离婚 their marriages are less satisfying and more likely to end in divorce.
最近的遗传学研究显示 Recent genetic research has shown that
以前大多女性 before the modern era, almost all women
打算生育繁衍,然而大多数男性不想 managed to reproduce,while most of the men did not.
从此得出的结论是,一些顶尖男性 The conclusion from this is that a few top men
有接近各色女性的渠道 had access to multiple women,
然而大多数男性没有一点希望 while most men had no mating prospects at all.
在社会的任何地方,73%到93%的人 Anywhere from 73% to 93%
都是一夫多妻论者 of the world's societies have been polygamists.
希腊是第一个明确表示 And the Greeks are the first really clearly attested
实行一夫一妻制的知名社会 well-known society that turns towards monogamy.
问题是,为什么? The question is, why?
已知的正确答案是民主 The good answer that's been given is democracy.
一夫一妻制是民主的制度 Monogamy is democratic.
这不是在说女人 This is saying nothing of women.
一夫多妻制中的弱者是穷屌丝 The losers in a polygamist society are poor men.
他们没有伴侣.他们变得暴力,变成社会中不稳定的因素 They don't have mates. They become violent and an unstable element in society.
他们放弃读书,写作 So they've given up reading, writing,
交流,运动 communicating, exercising, playing sports.
那些你认为无关痛痒的事情,其实恰恰相反 And for those of you who think that's not that big of a deal,it actually is,
因为国家的出生率锐减 because the birthrate in the country is declining rapidly.
最近的心理学研究 Recent studies in psychology
戏剧性地改变了我们看待男性和女性的方式 have dramatically changed the way we look at men and women.
数年来,心理学家认为 For years, psychologists thought that
社会控制了女性的性征 society controlled women's sexuality.
但是现代心理学家开始怀疑这个理论 But modern psychologists are beginning to challenge this theory
并发现新证据表现的情况正好相反 and are finding new evidence that is suggesting the exact opposite.
今天我很高兴与其中一位心理学家会面 Today I'm very excited to meet one of these psychologists,
出版书作者,TED演讲者 the published author and TED Talks speaker
卡特琳娜 加布罗沃 Katarina Gabrova.
她相信女性被更深层次的性需求驱使 She believes that women are driven by deep sexual urges,
我们一旦通过心理学的角度看待性 and that once we begin to look at sex through the lens of psychology,
事情会变得完全不同 things will begin to look quite different.
有句话说 There is a saying that
世上的一切都是关于性 everything in the word is about sex
除了性本身(王尔德） except sex itself,
因为性是关于权力的 because sex is about power.
当你问我"女性性欲更旺盛吗?" And when you ask me, "Do women have a higher sex drive?"
你不是真的在问我谁性欲更旺盛 you are not really asking me who has a higher sex drive,
你真正的问题是 but your real question is,
谁有更大的权力? "Who has more power?"
我认为那是一个 And I think that is
相当危险的问题 a very dangerous question.
但我会尝试着用三个女性力量和性征 But I'll try to answer it with three theories
相关的理论体系来回答它 linked to female power and sexuality.
第一个可能是最有趣的 The first may be the most interesting one.
你听说过一个叫爱华德 伯尼斯的人吗? Have you ever heard of a man called Edward Bernays?
你是说那个心理学家? You mean the psychologist?
呃,他自己并不是一个心理学家 Well, not a psychologist himself,
尽管他因为在女性身上实践逆反心理学 although he did become quite famous
而声名大噪 for using reverse psychology on women.
在19世纪20年代 You see, in the 1920s,
一家美国烟草公司雇佣伯尼斯 an American tobacco company hired Bernays
来鼓动女性吸烟 to encourage women to start smoking.
那时多数是男性烟民, That was a period when most men used to smoke cigarettes,
女性不允许吸烟 but women were not allowed to smoke in public
女性吸烟被认为有伤风化和不够淑女 as it was seen as something indecent or un-ladylike.
但伯尼斯有个与众不同的计划 But Bernays had an unusual plan.
他雇佣了一位心理学家 He actually hired a psychoanalyst
来帮助他研究女性心理学 to help him research the psychology of women
发现女性被 and discovered that women
深层次的原始的性欲和 were driven by deep, primitive
竞争冲动驱动 sexual and competitive urges.
当时还是男权社会 And since it was a very male-driven society,
他相信女性 he believed that women
潜意识里有着阴茎嫉妒 subconsciously had penis envy
把烟视为阴茎的象征 and viewed cigarettes as a symbol of the penis.
他意识到如果他能将烟 He realized that if he could connect cigarettes
和挑战男权的想法联结起来 with the idea of challenging male power,
那么女性就会开始抽烟 then women would begin smoking,
因为女性会感觉 because then women would feel like
她们有了自己的阴茎 they had their own penises
和随之而来的女性权力 and therefore male power.
为了达成他的目的 But in order to achieve his goal,
爱德华伯尼斯做了件非同寻常的事 Edward Bernays did a very unusual thing.
他秘密和女权主义者合作 He secretly started working with feminists,
把吸烟和平权环境联系起来 linking smoking to the equality movement,
让女性相信吸烟 convincing women that smoking
和平权一样 is the same as having equal rights.
他的计划非常成功,没过多久 And his plan was very successful because, soon after,
女性香烟的销量急速提升 the sales of cigarettes to women skyrocketed.
所以女性开始吸烟 So women began smoking
是因为她们想要女性权力? 是的 because they wanted male power? Exactly.
第二个理论是和自然选择有关 Now, the second theory has to do with natural selection.
在人类历史的大多数进程中 Throughout most of human history,
几乎所有社会都采取一夫多妻制 almost all societies have been polygamous.
也许这很难理解 And I know this may be hard to believe,
但是根据社会心理学家罗伊鲍迈斯特所说 but according to the social psychologist Roy Baumeister,
一夫多妻制其实受益的是大部分女性 polygamy actually benefits most women
是个女性主导的决定 and is actually a female-driven decision.
因为大多数女性宁愿成为一个富帅男子的 Because most women would rather be the second
二房或三房 or the third wife of a handsome and rich man
也不愿成为一个平庸穷逼的正妻 than the only wife of an average or poor one.
举个例子,很多女性并不介意成为 So for example, most women wouldn't mind to be one
布拉德皮特和瑞恩高斯林这类男人众多妻子中的一个, of the many wives of, let's say,Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling.
她们宁愿如此也不想 They would rather do that than being
做建筑工人的唯一正妻 the only wife of a construction worker.
所以这和80/20规则很像 So it's similar to the 80/20% rule.
是的这个定律被称为重要的极少数 Yes. The so-called law of the vital few.
事实上与主流观点不同 And in fact contrary to popular belief,
最近的研究表明 recent studies suggest
人性不是被男性的选择引领的 that humanity is not led by the choices of men
而是女性的选择 but by the choices of women.
基因调查显示人类历史的大多数时间 You see, genetic research shows that for most of human history,
80%的女人想要生殖繁衍 80% of women managed to reproduce,
然而只有40%的男人想要这么做 while only 40% of men did.
这说明大多数男人活着一辈子根本 This actually means that most men who ever lived
没机会繁衍后代 did not even get a chance to reproduce.
我认为这种区别 And I think that this difference
是唯一无人问津的性别事实 is the single most unappreciated fact about gender.
它意味着 What this actually means is
是女性决定怀上谁的宝宝,而不是男性 that women decide whose genes carry on, not men.
这就引出了第三个理论 And that brings me to the third theory.
我认为性的究极形态 I think that sex in its ultimate form
是权力的转移 is the transfer of power.
男性需要权力来获得交欢的渠道 Men need power in order to gain access to sex,
但一旦他们有了性,他们失去了权力 but once they are having it,they lose power.
与此同时女性的权力增加了 But a woman's power increases.
你是在说高潮吗? 是的 -Are you talking about orgasms? -Yes.
两性的平均高潮程度是差不多的 While the average orgasms of both genders are similar,
但如果我们对比男女高潮的峰值 if we are comparing the best of the best,
我认为男性的高潮 I think it's fair to say that men simply cannot
没有女性来的强烈 match the power of the most intense female orgasm.
事实上,根据肯尼科和北村博士的说法 In fact, according to Drs. Kaneko and Kitamura,
女性高潮能比男性 the female orgasm can be 10 times more powerful
强烈十倍 than the male orgasm.
根据他们所说,如果我们 And according to these authors, should we run the intensity
在男性大脑中模拟这种女性高潮时的强烈刺激 of a female orgasm through a male's brain,
如此强的刺激可能会有 there is a danger that such a shock to their system
杀死他们的危险 could actually kill them.
-真的? -是的 -Are you serious? -Yes.
根据那些医生的说法这是可能的 According to these doctors it may be possible.
如果我们寻求解剖学上的不同 If we are looking at the anatomical differences,
女性的阴蒂包含15000个神经末梢 the female clitoris contains 15,000 nerve endings,
而龟头只有4000个神经末梢 while the head of the penis only has 4,000 nerve endings.
你可以想象当15000个性神经末梢同时 And can you imagine what it's like when these 15,000
传递神经刺激信号时 sexual nerve endings fire all at once?
它能创造一种力量,如此之大 Well, it creates force-- a force so strong
以至于能让女性的大脑当机 that it almost shuts down a woman's brain.
在那时,所有的回忆,情绪 And at that point, all memory, emotions
和推理功能停机 and reasoning functions stop.
这个瞬间是如此强烈 And this event is so powerful
以至于有人赋予它形而上性 that some may even call it spiritual.
-形而上性? -是的 -Spiritual? -Yes.
当谈论性活动时， Most people only know about two dimensions
大多数人只知道二元 when they are talking about sexual activity--
身体上的和情绪上的 the physical and emotional.
但是有些女性能达到第三维度 But some women can reach a third dimension
当她们高潮时:形而上性出现了 when they climax:the spiritual.
她们把这描述为一个她们 They describe it as a place where they can finally let go
可以丢掉所有身心累赘的地方 of all the physical and emotional baggage.
你没有真正离开肉体 So you don't actually leave your body,
但你有种抛万物于身后的快感 but you have the feel that you have left everything behind.
是的 Yes. Exactly.
当我做爱时,所有烦恼都消失了 When I have sex,all of my troubles float away.
我不用去想任何义务责任 I don't have to think about any obligations.
我只是随波逐流 I can just let go
享受性交 and enjoy intimacy.
现在有个大问题 Now for the big question--
谁的性欲更加旺盛 Who has a higher sex drive?
每个人都有不同的观点 Everyone has a different opinion,
在我经验里,我发现 but in my journey, I found out
我们可以把性爱当作形而上性的享受 that we can experience sex as spiritual,
我们有各种方式达到高潮.几乎每个女人都有 we have multiple ways to orgasm,and that almost every woman
双性恋的一面 has a bisexual side.
这是我认为女性性欲更旺盛的原因 That's why I think that women have a higher sex drive.
但是旁人可能有不同的观点 But the world might have a different view.
我从小就被灌输一个特定的思想 I was taught to think about sex in a certain way--
没破处的处女谈性色变 that a woman is prude when she doesn't have sex
破处后就是一个荡妇 and that she's a slut when she does;
男性不能展示他们顺从的一面 that men shouldn't show their submissive side;
性别无法进行性层面的流动 and that genders can't be sexually fluid.
但性代表更多.不单单是单纯的生殖繁衍 But sex is more. It's more than just reproduction.
它不单单是你性目标 It's more than your sexual orientation.
不单单是行动 It's more than an action.
世界被性概念的单一化 The world has become adjusted to only
束缚 one idea of sex.
但是作为人类,我们掌握的比这更多 But as humans, we are capable of so much more.